RAP INTRO: [00:00:00] Stories, labels, Misconceptions NHS remains a blessing Created in 1948 We want it to remain great A podcast where we share our stories Explore solutions in all their glories They say it's broken, but it's not done With your host Val Barrett, Dr. Jeremy Anderson

Val: Welcome to Stories, Labels and Misconceptions with me, Val Barrett. And I'm Dr. Jeremy Anderson. This week we thought we'd do something different.

Val: Dr. Jeremy has no idea what my story is about.

Val: Dr. Jeremy and I have each chosen a story, something that's caught our attention, and we're going to [00:01:00] break it down the way we do best. Looking at the human story, the labels attached and the misconceptions that follow because it's never just about the headlines is about what lies underneath them. Okay. So who's going first?

Dr Jeremy: I can go first 

Val: on that.

 Dr Jeremy: Okay. So the story I read this week on the BBC website. Was about university students feeling let down by a lack of mental health support. What they point out is that the demand for mental health services, particularly among youth among millennials and Gen Z has skyrocketed they talked about a the demand quadrupling in a decade.

Dr Jeremy: They show a chart in the article showing the number of students in higher education with mental health issues by academic year in 2014 or 15. it was 33. 

1, 

Dr Jeremy: 500 by 2324. It was 122, [00:02:00] 000. Massive numbers of students struggling with mental health concerns. And it, that raises a whole bunch of questions.

Dr Jeremy: Number 1 is why is this? Why is it like, why are university students. Doing so poorly and why does it seem to get worse? I don't know if there's any firm answers. Lots of speculation. What would be your guesses Val about what's causing an uptick in the number of students saying they need mental health support?

Val: Don't forget we're coming off COVID. 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah. 

Val: So that's still. Has his impact today. 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah, that 

Val: is still does. 

Dr Jeremy: One thing they talked about was this crop of students did some of their schooling under lockdown. That's affecting their ability to. Move on to higher education, interacting with people public speaking. 

Val: Yeah, 

Dr Jeremy: There may have been situational stressors unique to this generation, but also, an increase in diagnoses of ADHD. So attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. There's a [00:03:00] skyrocketing increase in people being diagnosed with autism. 

Val: Why do you think some people find it hard to believe that there is an actual rise, or they believe that people are self diagnosing? Because it's really weird you're talking about this today.

Val: I read something a friend put on Facebook, it was about ADHD and autism. 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah. 

Val: So yeah. I 

Dr Jeremy: mean, that's, it's been suggested the rate of the condition hasn't changed. People are just self diagnosing. In some ways

Val: more aware.

Dr Jeremy: So the rate of the illness was always this high. It was just getting missed. Yes. So maybe we're just more aware of it now. Maybe that's why we're catching it where we wouldn't have before.

Dr Jeremy: It's also true that in the last 10 years with the revision of the diagnostic and statistic manual. For mental disorders they redefined what autism is. Autism is now a [00:04:00] spectrum. And the sense is that it's actually easier to get a diagnosis of autism than it used to be. Because we've changed the diagnostic criteria.

Val: , I'm looking at what she wrote. When we talk about things like that, I remember growing up, there was an elderly, man. They used to say he was slow. 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah. 

Val: And I realize they didn't have a name for it. So what my friend was trying to say is he's always been there. We use words like lazy. Slow, doesn't know how to talk to people. Can't look you straight in the eyes. Then we've got this generation we're more clued up. We're more aware. It's not that I think it's probably risen the awareness.

Dr Jeremy: Yes. 

Val: People are more inclined [00:05:00] to get a diagnosis. 

Dr Jeremy: The stigma associated with mental health has declined enormously. When you and I were growing up, to get diagnosed with a mental condition was You know, you really didn't want that.

Dr Jeremy: That was almost an insult to suggest that there's something wrong with you mentally. In the current generations they talk about very openly about having a mental health condition. And so people are willing to go and get assessed and get a diagnosis. Yeah. In addition, there's more treatment available and people can get assistance.

Dr Jeremy: So you 

Val: can get the treatment 

Dr Jeremy: Once a student has a diagnosis, they're supposed to get accommodations, right? So if they have an attention problem or a concentration problem they should be getting, I don't know, extra time in exams or some flexibility with deadlines or.

Dr Jeremy: Help with note taking. So what that means is that there actually is an incentive for students [00:06:00] to actually seek out the diagnosis, to get the help, to make sure that they do as well as they can in university. If they have a bonafide condition they should get that help.

Dr Jeremy: But I just think that there's just many factors that are contributing to people seeking out and getting diagnoses way more than they used to. 

Val: Perhaps the universities are overwhelmed. 

Dr Jeremy: They said in the article Hey, we're not the NHS.

Dr Jeremy: We're not a mental health service. We're not trained for this. , Why are we, as a tutor or someone an instructor, why are we expected to be treating people as though we're psychologists or psychiatrists, that's not our job. 

Val: That's the bottom line. Whose responsibility is it? No one takes responsibility. It's left unchecked. 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah, I think, universities are doing what they can. They have some funding, but not a lot, for treating people's mental health conditions. 

Val: But then if you were in education, [00:07:00] say in primary or secondary school, you'd have a statement.

Val: My son's statement took him all the way through his education. When he went off to college, you had a new psychologist come to visit him and he still got the care if a course was too big, they would chop it down. Instead of doing it in one year, he would do it in three. So there was still that care. At college level to help get him through the course. 

Dr Jeremy: Yes. 

Val: Do you see what I mean? I assumed they did the same thing at university. So the question could be those suffering mental health or ADHD at university, were they statemented at school?

Val: It's all changed now. Is it ECHP? Yeah. 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah. And 

Val: if [00:08:00] not, what route do they take? 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah. A lot of conditions may not have emerged in childhood. So there's a lot of mental health conditions like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder might show up between the ages of 17 and 25. So the window in which these disorders emerge is right when people go to university. 

Val: Yeah. 

Dr Jeremy: So they haven't had a prior assessment. They're coming to university. Everything should be fine. Develop a condition. Or if, let's say, they graduated, what I would call high school. What would you call it? Sixth form. 

Val: Yeah. 

Dr Jeremy: During lockdown they don't have a lot of experience, giving presentations or speaking in front of a group, but now they go to university and now they have to, give a speech in front of the class.

Val: Exactly. Education in this country. Hasn't changed. 

Dr Jeremy: Now they have to do this and didn't know it, they've got social anxiety fear of public speaking it's debilitating and they don't want to do it. The university isn't set up. [00:09:00] To help I've had to write letters for some patients who, start university and because of a physical health condition or a mental health condition, they're not able to participate in their class in some way.

Val: Yeah, 

Dr Jeremy: I was a bit surprised coming from Canada because. Every university has these disability accommodation student centers and they're set up to just, Give out accommodations and the idea of getting deadlines extended or rewrites for things.

Dr Jeremy: It's fairly standard, right? Yeah. And what I found, the response I was getting back from university administrators was, no, this person needs to withdraw from the class and try next year when they get themselves sorted. And the problem is if you have a chronic health condition or long term mental health condition, that isn't going to get sorted within a year.

Dr Jeremy: It's not about the person saying, I'm going to be so much better in, next year. It's about just giving them the flexibility to get through the program. 

Val: Then another question could [00:10:00] be is university for everyone? Is it not inclusive? University is a choice. It's not compulsory, not like school. 

Dr Jeremy: No. 

Val: In school, they have special needs education. SEND teachers, you've got extra support, you get the statement. University is a choice if you choose to pursue that route. So that's probably why it's not set up like school. 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah I take the point. I've actually, I'm on record as saying I don't think university is for everyone. Trying to push people to do university just because that's what their parents want, but they really don't want to be there. That's just a waste of time and money. 

Val: And on top of that, they can't even get a job. 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah.

Val: No experience Yeah. Of working. So would you Yeah. If you were, hiring and had [00:11:00] two applications. One person all their life, they've just gone through education, but never worked. Got brilliant grades and another one never went on to further education, but it's got good grades that, you know, at A levels and whatever, but it's got loads of work experience, knows how to communicate, know how to give presentation, can work on their own. Can do all of those things that we look for in the workplace. Who would you go for? 

Dr Jeremy: I can tell you who I did go for. When I've hired people, I've often hired people who are maybe went to university as a mature student. So they went and worked for a bit, but then they decided, okay, I'm going to, I know what I'm interested in now I've developed some skills and now I'm going to, college or university they did it from a place of having actually had some life experience and work experience. [00:12:00] Of course, you're going to go for the more experienced person. 

Val: The one who's got the life experience, worked, even though the other one has done what our government is to say education, got their heads down. Brilliant marks, and can't get a job. 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah. And, just to close the loop on this idea of, I don't think university is for everyone. But I wouldn't say that, the presence of a mental or physical disability is the reason that university is not for you.

Dr Jeremy: I'm not saying that it's not for people with disabilities. I think there's lots of people who are brilliant and deserve, and we need those people to go to universities. Like somebody with autism or Asperger's syndrome but there are fantastic, mathematician or computer scientist. Like I want those people to. Work on AI cure cancer or fix the world.

Val: You've got all different types of students.

Dr Jeremy: Yeah. 

Val: But I think we have to be realistic. Do you need to [00:13:00] go to university? Do you want to go to university because you think he's going to give you a leg up and get you a better job, or because your parents think it's best I think those days are over back in the day Caribbean women went into nursing, right? Nursing was a route for them. Yeah. 

Val: I remember this woman telling me her. Her mom said, do nursing. It's a route in and you can then expand and do other things within health. There's a lot of Caribbean women. high up in the NHS because they took that route when they came here, they went straight into nursing.

Val: But that people nowadays can get a good job because of nepotism. I don't even think it went away. We're always going to have the old boys network old girls club, certain groups who is related to who, who went to university with who, it's how 

Dr Jeremy: it is, it's who, 

Val: [00:14:00] you can get the best grades ever. And you still don't end up where you are supposed to be because life is unfair. It is, and it always will be, that's the thing. I was watching an interview the other night Kemi Badenoch, and I thought it was awful. Have you seen it?

Dr Jeremy: No. 

Val: I thought it was terrible. I thought you will never be prime minister. 

Dr Jeremy: You mean she was terrible the interview was terrible or both? 

Val: She 

Dr Jeremy: was terrible. 

Val: I don't know who advised her to give the response that she did. She doesn't look presidential, 

Dr Jeremy: ministerial, yeah. 

Val: When you look at leaders around the world, you think, on the world stage, how do they fit in? It's like she's got no common sense. [00:15:00] She was mixing up her identity and culture and I thought, Did you really think that I no longer identify as Nigerian? That made no sense. Absolutely no sense. And I've noticed that. People with no common sense and no personality have to try and identify with what they think the people want them to be. And then you've got Nigel Farage. He's just Nigel Farage. So we're talking about politicians here. No. But I'm just talking about sometimes how people are just because they've got the best grades.

Val: Doesn't mean it's just your grades. It's you as a person. Do you see what I mean? And I think we're living in a time where people are trying to fit in and be everything to [00:16:00] everybody else. You just can't, she's not authentic you want someone who is just themselves, whether you agree with them, Or like them. I know she went to university. And worked really hard at school, but something else is missing. Do you see what I mean? Something else is missing. I think she's probably in the wrong job. That's probably it. I don't know. And I don't know if that makes sense with what you're talking about,

Dr Jeremy: yeah.

Val: I think whether you do have a condition or you don't is university right for you I know some people can walk into an interview and talk themselves in and they don't have anything. 

Dr Jeremy: Yes. 

Val: Another person has everything and I can't talk. [00:17:00] Sometimes we're working on the wrong thing.

Dr Jeremy: People can look good on paper, but they come into the interview and you just have a sense. I do not want to work with this person. 

Val: No. I think the way our education system is set up 

Dr Jeremy: hmmm 

Val: just about application and testing. And there's nothing about emotional intelligence.

Val: Yeah. There's nothing about making a rounded person to carry on their lives outside of school. So I'm not going to be walking around reciting my maths test, it's just ridiculous. Unless you want to be a doctor, a psychologist, a nurse, then yes. University is right. I wouldn't want a doctor operating on me that's only worked in fruit and vegetable.

Val: I want to know he has the right grades and done the right [00:18:00] course. Sometimes I don't know if we get it into our heads. To get on in life, you've got to go to university and own a house. Or we haven't made it. Haven't you noticed that about the British?

Dr Jeremy: Yeah, I did notice. Canada is a bit like this too, but but in Britain, I really did get a sense. With a lot of my patients the importance of uni and I would ask them questions like, what are you studying? What are you interested in?

Dr Jeremy: What degree do you want what interests you about university? And a lot didn't really know. They just wanted to go because their friends were going. Because the parents wanted them to, or it was the thing to do.

Dr Jeremy: It was perceived as a cultural experience of going away for years and living on your own. That experience part is good, but there's a lot of cheaper ways of having an experience like that, then going to university if university is really not for you, if that's not what you're interested in, then go to I [00:19:00] think there's probably better, more productive ways to, have a couple of years living on your own. Travel, go abroad, work abroad, volunteer, do something. I 

Val: I think that's one of the great experiences when you're young, before you settle down, have kids buy a house, go experience life. Pack your things in a backpack.

Val: My wigs couldn't fit in one of those, but travel, do all those wonderful things that young people do. 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah. I think that's great.

Val: Instead of being saddled with such debt, but don't forget at my age, We didn't pay for university. 

Dr Jeremy: Yes. 

Val: Their parents didn't pay. The people who are in the cabinet didn't pay. 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah. 

Val: But this generation 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah. 

Val: has to pay. 

Dr Jeremy: And maybe that circles back to students stress and mental health issues they're doing these courses, it's much bigger, much more competitive now, much more expensive now.

Dr Jeremy: And they know that the jobs are not there. [00:20:00] So there's a lot of anxiety. What am I going to do when I finish i've got a huge debt how am I going to pay for it? I think that would increase your stress level. 

Val: And they can't afford to do, what's that called? An intern.

Dr Jeremy: An internship. Yeah. 

Val: You can't afford that. I remember, I think it was Tony Blair. Picked up the phone to some bank owner, his son. Now you can afford to do an internship because your family has resources because you're not paid for that. 

Dr Jeremy: Imagine that on your 

Val: Your CV. We will always have that inequality, even to do an internship.

Dr Jeremy: Unless we said internships need to be paid. 

Val: Then that doesn't mean an internship does it. 

Dr Jeremy: You could call it a paid internship would be, someone who's starting with the company, they're learning, they don't have a whole lot of experience, but this is their work experience and the, they're [00:21:00] given certain lower level tasks. With the idea that they're, this is part of their learning process, but they're also paid to be there. 

Val: No matter how we slice it and dice it, we live in a very unequal society. The more you talk about it, you realize how bad it is.

Dr Jeremy: Yeah. 

Val: It shouldn't be that hard to want to go to university. He shouldn't, 

Dr Jeremy: no, 

Val: shouldn't be after all, that's the generation that are going to be probably running the world because have a scientist there that's going to find the next cure for whatever illness do we really look after The next generation as much as we should

Dr Jeremy: hmmm 

Val: We're focused so much on who's already doing what, they're not going to be here forever. They always say a good [00:22:00] manager. gets the one below him, ready to step into his or her shoes. Do we have the next generation ready to take over Britain ready to, whether it's technology, whether it's government, civil service, all they equipped, not just So I'm talking about equipped, like grades, are they able to work with people? Are they able to negotiate? Are they able to? To presentation, are they able to speak with other governments it's a lot. 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah. 

Val: You hear civil servants have been around for decades, but you're not going to be there forever. So who's stepping into your shoes?

Dr Jeremy: Exactly. 

Val: We need to prepare them better, but what we can't have is a generation of [00:23:00] adults leaving university, not just with debts, but with more mental health stress. Cause that's not going to help anyone because then, they talk, about benefits.

Val: To help people on benefits, so it doesn't help. As we said, one cost, one thing goes to, it just goes to another. Exactly. So wouldn't it be cheaper to have something in place? In universities, knowing what the country has been through when it comes to COVID, even if somebody didn't suffer from mental health before.

Dr Jeremy: COVID was hard. That is one thing they mentioned in the article. Some approaches would be, we need to increase initiatives to improve student wellbeing and manage stress, because these are the things that are contributing to a lot of the conditions students are developing. If we want to get a handle on that, we need to, [00:24:00] try to prevent some of the harm. That was my article. 

Val: The label for that is I think people think people are overdiagnosed. So I heard a politician say something similar on the news that overdiagnosed they can't possibly be all suffering. So you have that? 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah. 

Dr Jeremy: The misconception is that, there is one factor. It's not, there's many factors to explain the increase in diagnosis. So it could be that some people are overdiagnosed. Or it's also the case like we talked about before that we're noticing these things where maybe we didn't bother to diagnose before for one reason or another. So that's the misconception with that story. 

Val: Also a misconception that, Any [00:25:00] adult who has ADHD doesn't want to go to university or couldn't do it, and this is probably why universities aren't equipped to deal with them.

Dr Jeremy: Exactly.

Val: Okey dokey. 

WHOOSH: Mhm. 

Dr Jeremy: What story this week caught your eye? 

Val: This story I saw in my favorite paper. I love the Daily Mirror. , I grew up on it and I forgot what day it was 'cause I've ripped it out. The headline was, I'm 64 and have a lover who I meet up with every Sunday for fun. All older people should enjoy sex. Okay. Wow! Ha ha! You go, girl!

Dr Jeremy: Okay. A woman. 

Val: Yeah. It's a woman. Her name is Suzanne Noble. I can say her name because it was in the paper. I'm not outing anyone. 

Dr Jeremy: Okay. 

Val: She's 64 years old. And stunning. [00:26:00] She looks very happy. The first thing I saw was a smile.

Val: She's got kids. She's been married. She's had long term relationship. She's probably at that age where You know, she doesn't want any more relationships. She calls them a situationship Now I've heard of that word once before. Have you heard of that word? 

Dr Jeremy: No, that's the first time I've heard of that. So it's not a relationship.

Val: Okay. 

Val: We meet to have sex basically. 

Dr Jeremy: Okay. 

Val: Or not whatever they want to do. 

Dr Jeremy: Okay. 

Val: She's in one now. She said she wanted freedom with a touch of emotional intimacy, but not something that's going to be emotionally draining.

Dr Jeremy: Okay. 

Val: All right. But then I wouldn't think anybody would want that in any relationship.

Dr Jeremy: Yeah, I think. Yeah. I think [00:27:00] every relationship certainly there's going to be periods in any long term relationship where you feel emotionally drained, and that may not be, any reflection on how good or bad the relationship is. It might just be, I don't know what this woman's background is, but if you have a partner who dies of a condition. 

Val: Yeah, she's had that. 

Dr Jeremy: And you've been caring for that person up until the point they die. That's emotionally draining, right? It is. But also very rewarding. And it's not that you regret, putting in that effort. That might be one of the most meaningful things in your life, but you also wouldn't want to repeat it. 

Val: Yeah true. So she's been, she calls it a situationship. I think it's been two years. Since they've had the connection. 

Dr Jeremy: Okay. 

Val: It's grown, not into a conventional relationship, but into a mostly physical one. 

Dr Jeremy: Okay. 

Val: I wonder is it him serving her mostly? Or her serving, I don't know, but it could [00:28:00] be. Something that benefits both, but both value their independence. Like she's the type of woman that she'll go and she's gone. She's on a plane and she's got, I love that. I do. I love it. And it said that when she was grown up, 'cause her parents. Had been married for 65 years and one thing she learned from their relationship, even though they were a couple, they were both independent of one another and mother would go off and do her thing, what she liked and so would not on about part and partners, but. Other hobbies or whatever. And I think sometimes some people in some relationships, they rely on that partner for everything. 

Dr Jeremy: Yes. 

Val: They rely on. for their entertainment. They rely on their partner to socialize. They don't have anything [00:29:00] outside of that relationship. 

Dr Jeremy: Not really a traditional view. The idea that, my partner has to fulfill all of my needs. There is the idea rather that you have a relationship with someone. Let's say you're married have kids together and you relate on that level, but there's any number of areas of your life in terms of, your work or how you socialize or what you like to do on your day off. Whether that's sports fishing quilting knitting that might not include the other person, that's not a problem, you don't have to spend every waking moment with your partner. 

Val: And she also said we're friends first. There is a connection.

Val: We go around to eat, chat, and occasionally have fun. No pressure, just openness I don't know if it's an age thing, but I wouldn't think you want any stress at that age. You've raised your kids. She's had deaths from two long term partners. [00:30:00] So she's experienced that. 

Dr Jeremy: Okay. 

Val: It's her time. 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah. And she's probably had enough grief. So 

Val: And she's also a naturalist on often visit beaches and spots across the uk. Where Nudism is allowed. 

Dr Jeremy: Oh, okay. 

Val: She's very body positive. Yeah. Yeah. 

Dr Jeremy: Okay. So she's not just she likes the Woods . She's a nudist. Okay. 

Val: Oh dear. She sounds fun. Yeah. She really does. She sounds she's living life on her terms. 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah. 

Val: So that's exactly what she's doing. More power to her. She's doing exactly what she wants, how she wants it, when she wants it. At any age, you deserve that. As you get older, it's even better. I looked online. What did I find? A study and this is age over 70. So we've got someone to look forward to, [00:31:00] 54 percent of men. Over the age of 70, we're still sexually active.

Dr Jeremy: Really? Okay.

Val: And 31 percent of women. 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting what you say, about this woman living life on her own terms, more power to her it reminded me of one of my years of training.

Dr Jeremy: So I took her course in. The psychology of women, it was basically feminist psychology. I was the only male to ever complete the course. So I was the only guy in the class. I do remember one of the exercises that we did was, the instructor gave us a number of kind of descriptions of individuals of 20 different people and our job was to rank them in terms of the order in which we admire or respect that person.

Dr Jeremy: Yeah. 

Val: Yeah. 

Dr Jeremy: And I remember, one of the scenarios was about a woman, like this woman in the article you're saying, she's having situationships and she's honest. She's [00:32:00] clear about what she wants from people but she's not seeking marriage or long term,

Val: yeah. 

Dr Jeremy: At that time I was very young. I was Just coming up from really conservative Christian upbringing. And so I ranked that person very low. And I was actually shocked. I was the only guy in the class. I was shocked that there were people in the class who ranked that person number one.

Dr Jeremy: That was the most admirable. The point of the exercise was to show that different people have really different ideas about morality or consent or it was just the importance of recognizing like what you think is obvious and everyone agrees with me. Yeah, it's not true. People have very different opinions.

Dr Jeremy: They have very different experiences. I would say that was a formative moment when I realized people have really different views. My own views have changed in that regard. But that's very interesting. What was it about the article that caught your eye,

Val: I think the age thing it's good to read about a woman who [00:33:00] is doing exactly what she wants on her own terms without a man Telling her to do it. She is doing it. 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah. 

Val: She's taking charge of herself, her mind, body, and soul. It's liberating. It really is.

Dr Jeremy: And have we talked in the podcast about Halle Berry? She might be promoting products or a book regarding menopause because she's gone through menopause.

Dr Jeremy: Were we talking about that? So it a few months ago, Halle Berry was on Trevor Noah's podcast. Talking about menopause the assumption is that when women hit menopause, sex just stops. The story is with hormone replacement therapy and different exercises and stuff she does and understanding the way people's bodies change. 

Val: Yeah. 

Dr Jeremy: It's entirely possible for women to have sex after menopause. And it can be really good because 

Val: you are a woman who's been through menopause you said [00:34:00] I'm very good. 

Dr Jeremy: No. I'm quoting Halle 

Val: Berry. I can see your 

Dr Jeremy: face. I'm not. I know you're making me blush Val. I'm not claiming to speak from personal experience of menopause. But according to Halle Berry, it's very good after menopause. 

Val: I'm going through the menopause. 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah, 

Val: this woman, as we know when it comes to health, sex is good for you.

Dr Jeremy: Yes, absolutely.

Val: And Raises your mood, but the downside is 

Dr Jeremy: it reduces pain.

Dr Jeremy: Anything that gets your endorphins going. If you have chronic pain, it's one of the things I used to recommend in my pain management classes.

Val: Really is a dose of sex. 

Dr Jeremy: I would ask participants in the group. What do you do to help with your pain?

Dr Jeremy: And and yeah, some people, as painkillers, but there's one woman I think she was a stunt woman who got injured on a movie set. Said, I use sex. That's how I help with my [00:35:00] pain. There's scientific evidence to show that increasing your endorphins will help with your pain

Val: there is a rise in STIs in older people, especially in care homes, especially in care homes. 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah. 

Val: Yeah. 

Dr Jeremy: STIs don't discriminate by age. They don't discriminate, 

Val: exactly. It's not 

Dr Jeremy: just the young people yeah. 

Val: There was a program I watched, I think the word Halifax was in it, I can't remember.

Dr Jeremy: Okay. 

Val: A couple that found each other in later life. Okay. And I think it was that show where, oh, this line that the woman said, I thought the next man to touch me would be the undertaker. I thought, what a brilliant line. Because you do.

Val: Oh, dear. So I was going to keep that short and sweet. Okay. So my label for that is. It's a I know what my misconception is. Young people, think us oldies. I'm not in my sixties yet. The older people don't want sex. Or [00:36:00] shouldn't be having sex, 

Dr Jeremy: misconceptions about 

Val: sex around older people.

Val: Some think, Oh, it's disgusting. Why is it bloody disgusting? How do you think you were born? Young people think they invented the bloody thing. Yeah, and only they should have it. Young, beautiful people should be the only ones having sex. No, get over yourselves. We are all different body types, all different ages, all different ethnicities.

Val: And the majority of people, are enjoying a life full of sex, especially older. And there is nothing wrong with that. It's keeping them healthier. It's keeping their mood up, but it's good for them. There's no age. Why are you worried about that?

Val: Why do people find it weird? Because when I started the menopause. [00:37:00] I don't know whether to say this. 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah. 

Val: I always thought that was it. It stops. 

Dr Jeremy: Hmmm 

Val: just think, why am I looking at him? Why do I feel this? I was shocked because I was told it stops.

Val: You don't desire it. You don't want it. It just goes. And no, it doesn't, it may, for some, but for others, when I read, it was the best thing that happened. 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah. 

Val: Not all young people are having sex. We have a community of young people that don't have sex.

Val: So don't think it's just for the young. When you get older you're not so hung up on your body on how it looks. You've embraced all those lumps bumps scars you know what you like, you know what you don't like and you will say that [00:38:00] yeah, You know yourself better, you know your body better and that's why probably older people are enjoying it They asked this woman a question, she was in a care home, and they said to her, What's the one thing you regret?

Val: She said I didn't have sex with different men. Cause she grew up in the era where it was just one man and she went through it. Yeah. 

Dr Jeremy: This a different person you're referring to? Not the one in the article? Yeah. This 

Val: is a different woman. 

Dr Jeremy: Okay. 

Val: Know, so some people do actually regret that they didn't have more sex.

Dr Jeremy: I think this is a huge topic because there's lots of aspects of our culture and other cultures that, restrict sex and sexual access. There's whole fields of psychology and other areas of science, anthropology. That talk about, 

Val: yeah, 

Dr Jeremy: about human sexual behavior 

Val: and we are labeled. I'm putting we in there because I'm on the verge of 60 old fuddy duddies or [00:39:00] old grannies and granddads and we just sit at home knitting or looking after the grandkids. They've packed their bags and they've gone. 

Dr Jeremy: Yeah, 

Val: They've looked after their kids. They've done the school run. They've done all that anxiety trying to find a school place. Now it's their time, so good on her. I might be joining you soon, . 

Dr Jeremy: Good 

Val: so what are yours? What's your labels and misconception? 

Dr Jeremy: For this one? Yeah. We talked about this idea of, being a senior, right? An older person. 

Val: Yeah. 

Dr Jeremy: And yeah, I think the biggest misconception is that older people can't or shouldn't have sex or want sex. 

Val: Yeah. 

Dr Jeremy: That's not true. 

Val: You wait. You we'll 10 years time. 

Dr Jeremy: Okay. 

Val: Talk about our own experiences.[00:40:00] 

Dr Jeremy: Very good, Val. Yeah. 

Val: Thank you. That's it for this week's episode. If you liked our stories, let us know. If you've got any of your own, let us know follow us on our socials. Please subscribe. When the next episode, yeah, whatever they say, no, that was great. I keep laughing.

Val: Okay. 

Dr Jeremy: No, toodles. 

Val: Didn't do it. Think I'd know what to bloody no.